Blake Bortles to Green Bay is Good for Joe Biden

Jun 11, 2019; Thousand Oaks, CA, USA; Los Angeles Rams quarterback Blake Bortles (5) throws the ball during minicamp at Cal Lutheran University. Mandatory Credit: Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

Aaron Rodgers did not show up to voluntary OTAs for the Packers on Monday. The news may not seem like a big deal, but it is notable that up until this year, Rodgers has been a participant in the Packers voluntary offseason program throughout his career.

Since Rodgers seems to care even less about his team than his family, the trade rumors surrounding him are growing and becoming more realistic. The Packers have not done themselves any favors by adding another quarterback to their broken home, but the acquisition of Blake Bortles could be a move that affects more than just the Packers’ Super Bowl chances this year.

Commander and Chief, Blake Bortles

Blake Bortles is a 2x leader in sacks, 1x leader in interceptions, and AFC Championship contender, but what Blake Bortles is most notably known for is that he bought a Tesla to stop himself from driving to gas stations to buy chewing tobacco. The unexpected plot twist to this story is that if Blake Bortles becomes the starting quarterback for the Packers, the United States could find economic relief for our gas price situation.

Gas prices are the highest they have been since 2014, and there is no sign of them getting any lower until now. 

Cheeseheads Unite

A quarterback is supposed to be a leader to your team and a leader to your fans. However, the Packers don’t have just any typical fans. They have Cheeseheads. The Cheeseheads are one of the largest fan bases in America, and they are known for being the biggest simps for their starting quarterback. 

As a clear advocate for eco-friendly vehicles and a survivor of nicotine addiction, Blake Bortles is the quarterback this country needs. If we can get the simp Cheeseheads to follow in their new leader’s footsteps, we can assume that the days of seeing Chevy Suburbans and Ford Super Duties on the road will be dead. The land of the free will flood with Teslas, Priuses, and that scrappy little BMW I3 that Larry David drives.

Yeah that one.

How Will This Affect Gas Prices?

Let me make sure we are all on the same page. I am not talking about the gas you get from your friend’s cousin who said that he had the best stuff in town, but then he stopped answering his phone after you head to the location to meet up with him. I am talking about those unleaded mids you fill up your car with.

The calculation on this gas issue is pretty simple. If there are more electric cars on the road, then there will be a lower demand for gas therefore, the price of gas will go down. DISCLAIMER: I don’t have any real evidence to back this up, but from my profound academic experience in economics this makes complete logical sense.

So do the right thing Packers. Trade Aaron Rodgers and give Blake Bortles the starting job. If you have to give him away for a lowball offer just remember, it is for the greater good.